Hugh Jackman divorced and ended his 13-year-old siblings marriage with 27 years! Do mature couples still have love? Expert: 50 is the key to re-examining life

Editorial note: Another silver couple’s marriage change! Hollywood actor Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborah were surprised to divorce. They announced that the two of them had peacefully and friendly ended their 27-year marriage: "We were fortunate to have spent nearly 30 years of beautiful marriage together. Our current journey is changing, and we decided to separate and pursue personal growth."

Hugh Jackman is well-known for his performance in the "Golden Wolf" series. He and his wife Deborah Lee are 13-year-old siblings. The two met and went on stage in 1995 and got married less than a year after dating. Even though the outside world believes that the 13-year-old siblings are too big, Hugh Jackman became a wife after marriage and broke the doubts outside the world, making the two of them always regarded as being the lover of the Gods of the Gods. After marriage, they both had a 23-year-old son and an 18-year-old daughter.

The two have always come to give the outside world a very kind image. During this Western Lover's Day and April wedding anniversary, Hugh Jackman also posted a photo with his wife. Now he suddenly announced his divorce, which made many people bluntly say that they don't believe in love.

Does mature couple still love each other?

Mature divorce has become a trend recently. According to the survey results of 150 mature women aged 50 to 70, among the 129 married people, 109 had ever wanted to divorce; but when asked whether they still have feelings for their partner, about 85% of the visitors expressed their affirmation. The divorce consultation teacher believes that maturity is a peak period for re-examining and adjusting the relationship between husband and wife, and it is also the key to whether the husband and wife can spend the second half of their life together.

Welcome a century of life. If you simply divide it into two, you can be said to be a return at the age of 50. While the child's nurturing gradually came to an end, the family's elders began to need care, and they or their partners were about to retire... This was also the time when many people began to re-examine the "husband and wife life".

In order to allow people to spend the second half of their lives happily without feeling the pressure, how to spend their husband and wife life is also one of the important keys. The Japanese mature magazine "Halumeiku" interviewed 150 female readers aged 50 to 70 in June 2021 about the marriage relationship between husband and wife. Among the 150 mature women interviewed, 87% were experienced couples who had been married for more than 25 years.

Overall, although I have a stable relationship with my companion or are naturally like my family, if I ask, I still have a lot of uneasiness about the coming or dissatisfaction with my partner.

8Mature couples still have feelings, even if their love fades, they will become family members

First, in the first question: "Do you still love your husband?", nearly half (49.6%) gave affirmative answers, and 35.7% of people answered, "Although there is no love, there is still feelings." This result shows that for mature women, they are actually a companion together for many years, and they still have some emotional foundation, but whether they belong to love depends on the person.

During the investigation, many visitors added additional answers in addition to the selection, including many sweet comments that are admirable:

·When I was young, I was busy taking care of my children, and my husband often came home very late, so I didn’t have much time to spend alone with the two. Now the child is gradually becoming independent, but instead he has regained the sweetness of his newlyweds. He is very happy to choose the current gentleman that year. (K.U is 63 years old, married for more than 35 years)

・After having age, we seem to be able to express our feelings more. The most exciting thing is that the husband told me: "Even if we go to another world, I want to be with you." (K.K is 59 years old, married for more than 35 years)

・After the children gradually became independent, we no longer called each other "dad" or "mother", but used names to describe them. (Takako is 61 years old, married for more than 35 years)

The comments from the person who answered "Although he has no love, he still has feelings" are as follows:

・Compared with the love between husband and wife, the other party is now regarded as a family member. Although you can express your thoughts with the other party without any jealousy, sometimes you will feel a little confused when you get along for a long time, but if one day the other party is gone, you should still be lonely. (K.R 64 years old, married 25-29 years)

・There is no special feeling good or bad, just like a cohabiting person who maintains a sense of distance, but this kind of life is still stable. (YO 65 years old, married for 30-34 years)

・The children have grown up and left their homes and have passed away. I didn't expect that as a husband and wife, there is nothing to do together, and there is no need to live together. (Y.M 65 years old, married for more than 35 years)

Although she has a stable family and family relationship with her husband, there seems to be no fewer people who feel dissatisfied or feel bored about the future.

Don’t want to be patient anymore! The life changes during maturity may be the fire line of divorce

In the next question, "Have you ever thought about divorce?", of the 129 married people, 102 gave affirmative answers, of which 20.2% of those who answered "How many times a year" and 21.7% of those who answered "How many times a year" and 8.5% of those who answered "How many times a year" and "How many times a month" were thought about it and (Almost every day)" combined. Only 20.9% of visitors said they had never thought about getting divorced, and said they had 28.7% of them.

In this regard, divorce consultant Okano Yuko believes that based on the overall trend of women over 50 years old, the proportion of women who are extremely close to life has increased compared to the past..

"When you feel dissatisfied, everyone no longer wants to be patient, but thinks: How to solve it? For example, after the husband retires, he asks his partner to be suitable for family affairs, or to fulfill his dream that he cannot accomplish at a young age, and there are also few people who gradually become mainstream in the past who thinks that his husband is the only pillar of the family.

Life changes during maturity are the key to re-examining marriage

・Because of different educational concepts for children, I feel troubled by the way of discipline my husband. At the age of 46, I once thought about getting divorced, but later my husband gradually understood my thoughts and was willing to hear my feelings when they had different opinions. I think it is very important to keep any dissatisfaction in my heart and confess my face. (K.K is 59 years old, married for more than 35 years, and replied, "I almost never wanted to divorce.")

・I used to take care of my mother-in-law and because my husband was a long man, I had to take care of my husband's big and big business. I felt very anxious about my mother-in-law and had wanted to divorce. But my mother-in-law didn't have this thought after she passed away. (M.C is 61 years old, married for more than 35 years, and answered "I almost never wanted to divorce.")

·After the second half of the child was independent of her, she suddenly felt "How could I marry such a fun person?" She felt a little regretful. (F is 64 years old, married for 30 to 34 years, and answered "I will want to divorce occasionally")

·Mr. If you have a little bit of it, you will get angry and always play games very late at night. He asks someone to wake up in the morning and doesn't sleep on time at night. He feels very angry when he sees the other party. (S 59 years old, married for 30 to 34 years, answered "I will want to divorce occasionally")

Okano Yuko believes that at the age of 30 to 40, differences in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law or life value are the first peak of thinking about divorce; after the age of 50, the changes in the stage of life have led to changes in the ideas about marriage relationships.

In addition, due to the dissatisfaction of the partner's life habits, health status, personality, etc., enduring the other party has accumulated a long time to reach the threshold, which may also be one of the important factors affecting divorce from a mature person.

The ideal couple relationship of mature women: equality, understanding, but maintaining a certain degree of independence

Finally, in the free answer question of "What do you want to say to the gentleman?", the wives said the sincerity that had been hidden in their hearts for a long time without reservation. Even if the person who answered "I still love the gentleman" in the previous question, he would not be completely satisfied with his partner.

・Please handle your own affairs yourself, don't ask me anything. (D.P 60 years old, married for 25-29 years)

・I hope the other party can care more about my mood and feelings. Even without sex, I think we can still be happy between husband and wife. (A.H. 64 years old, married for more than 35 years)

·When others talk, you must listen carefully to the end. (Y.Y. 62 years old, married for 25-29 years)

・There is not a restaurant at home, at least I will take my own bowl and plate to the kitchen by myself. (Y.O. 61 years old, married for more than 35 years)

・Don't always force me to live according to your rules, and I should also express some thanks and personal feelings to my wife. If I just keep it in my heart, I can't feel it. (Y.M. 65 years old, married for more than 35 years)

・I am not your mother, don't rely on me to solve anything! It seems like I have an extra child at home... At this age, if I only have TV friends, it would be too lonely. (A.T. 61 years old, married for more than 35 years)

From the wives’ complaints, we can find that most mature women hope that the couple can have a marriage relationship that is mutually sympathetic and respectful, but can support each other. Most of the concerns about those who are dissatisfied with their husbands also come from this.

If you want to have an ideal marriage relationship during maturity, you might as well use this as a borrowing lens to re-examine and adjust the relationship pattern between the couple, or maybe it is a chance to change!